Cowgirl don't cry. Ride baby Ride.

You know those days that everything falls into place, and you can count your blessings so easily, and couldn't wipe the smile off of your face?  Well.. Yesterday was Not one of those days.

I have so much to be thankful for. I've told myself that all day...When I get stressed or have too much to think about Pop comes to mind. I know this is a good thing. I know he is watching over me. I know that... but today while I was cleaning out some notebooks I came across a note dated 5/8/10. Clearly more than a year after Pop passed... As I read over it a flood of memories came to mind.. a flood of emotions... I will be married in less than 7 months. I've dreamed about this day since I can remember.. not about the details, not about the colors, but about dancing and laughing and loving all day long. The closer our wedding gets the more I start to freak out about the fact that the one person I want to be there, sitting in the front row smiling... won't. He won't be here.

Pop passed on February 13, 2009. Literally days after I returned home from a family vacation to California. I remember the calls, I don't know who called and told me the news first, either Kevin or Fran but I balled. "Pop-Pop is in the hospital." I froze. I knew I should have went to visit them before I got on that plane. I KNEW IT. . . but  I didn't. "Don't worry, it's just routine." is what they said... He was always in and out of the hospital.. he was a fighter, I knew that.. The next phone call wasn't as calming... He is in ICU. I was going to buy the first ticket home, but they kept saying, don't worry it's ok... I balled and balled and balled. This is my POP. It's hard to put into words what he meant to me.. but he was definitely one of a kind. I was surrounded by love in California, but the rest of the week I was haunted with what was happening in Maryland. In Easton.

We flew in on Tuesday, got back home around 630pm and it was off to Easton for  Bud and I. It was so much worse than I was ready for. Nothing anyone said prepared me for the condition he was in. He couldn't breathe on his own, therefore he couldn't even talk to me. They tried taking out the tube a few times and he couldn't breathe on his own.... I had to realize that he wasn't going to make it. We all had to realize it. I went back to see him the next night. Thursday I just couldn't go.... I went to work on Friday morning and knew I needed to get to Easton. Fran called me at 10:30ish and asked if I was home, .."no at work, why?" Then I knew... I knew it.. I could hear her voice shake when she said.. "you have to come to Easton, now... this is your last chance."


"Phone rang early one morning... mama's voice she'd been crying...said its your daddy you need to come quick.. this is it.. I think he's dyin.."

I drove 80 all the way to Easton, then turned around to pick up my brother outside of Denton, then flew 80 all the way back to Easton. I got in there, everyone was there... what a weird way to see all of your relatives, right? I mean what do you say?  I so wanted Bud to be there with me. . . he was coming from work. It was a few hours of in and out of his room.. the nurses were all so nice, they knew it was his last day. . . We asked him if he was ready to go home,  he nodded.. I cried.  I stroked his soft white hair and looked into his eyes and  knew I would never ever have someone like him in my life again. He knew he was ready to go home..We knew he was ready to go home... He couldn't talk, but he winked and smiled at me to let me know that it was all gonna be okay... That is the worst pain I think I've ever felt. 

My dad, his brothers and sister and my Mom-mom went in and said their goodbyes to him before the nurse came in to take out the tube and turn off the machines. Then there we were.. all of us... standing in the waiting room, waiting for the nurse to tell us we could come back in.... Then the elevator door opened and there was Bud. What a gift from God.  Together we walked into that ICU room and watched, with my family at his bed, my Pop take his last breath.

And just like that ... he was gone. 

"This is my temporary Home,  It's not where I belong.
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through.
This was just a stop,on the way to where I'm going.
I'm not afraid because I know... this was
My temporary home."

"Now that's a cute kid.."

Hey all!

Hope this weekend brings you nothing but awesomeness! We'll start here! I'm holding a contest called " Now that's a cute kid.."! Simple email me your entry at ap.photography@hotmail.com, all kids can be entered up to age 10! I will break down groups and make it fair. I'm working on the prize list,  But you'll get a full session with me and some other goodies!

RULES:
1. Fairly recent photo. ( I don't want a newborn photo entry of your 2 year old!)
2. Send photo, name and age.
3. Up to ten years old.
4. One photo per child.
5. Make it fun!

Entries will be accepted until 9.30 Voting will then take place for one week! The photo with the most like in each category is the winner!


Have a great weekend!

I LOVE A Deal!

Hey guys I wanted to let everyone know that there are some AWESOME specials coming up!

Now through the end of September Gallery Wraps are 20% off! That's A HUGE DEAL! Now is the time to get that wrap you wanted from a previous session. Now is the time to book your session to get your wrap! They look amazing in your home! We are updating our wall above our Couch with Gallery Wraps, starting now! :)

Custom Designed Greeting Cards are on sale for the Month of October! I'll have details for you about that! Be an early bird! Get your session done and your Holiday Cards ready to get out NOW!

I'll have more specials for the Holiday Season coming, so STAY tuned!

Sweet Baby.

Last week I had the pleasure to meet baby Gunner. I've known Lindsay for years. I've known her wonderful, awesome, family for.. years. None of this prepared me for what I was about to meet. I know I love babies. I know that when we have babies (In years, calm down!) that I will be the best mother I can be.. And they will probably have photos taken every single day.. hehehe.. But every singe time I meet a baby, I'm literally speechless. They are so innocent and pure and ADORABLE. Gunner, was everything I expected and more! Cuddly and Cute. Good Job Lindsay, and don't let Grammy spoil him too much! ;)

This makes my heart smile a little :)

Loved his little hands. Sign = I love you.

So thoughtful while he was awake.

Being a model is hard work.

He's gonna love this picture as much as we do. With his little hand gun already!

"I dig dirt." Is what his overalls read. SO cute!

Absolute Favorites. Hands down.

Gunner was such a joy to work with. I can't wait for many more sessions with him and his awesome family!

Sunset Love.

Long before Bud & I had our engagement session I was determined to do a really cool Sunset shoot on the beach, but when we had our session with Larry Huffman I was more determined than ever. As fate would have it, I set up the a session only a few days after our session with JoElyn & Sean. I graduated High School with Sean, and played volleyball with JoElyn. He went into the military shorty after high school and has been in Afghanistan serving our country. He was flying back to Maryland on Sunday the 29th of August, so we booked the shoot for that evening. It's been awhile since I've gained this renewed sense of passion for photos.  I was so proud of the immense concentration I put into the lighting and working everything so we could get these awesome shots. Sean is going back to California in a few days to continue serving our country. I applaud all of our service men & women. Thank you to all of you for serving our country so that we can continue to do what we love over here.

There were a bunch of people on the beach that evening for our shoot. The group of guys in the background were fishing.. they kept looking at us, so I thought it was fitting to have them in a few of the photos!

 What a great day for a beach session! I learned alot, and I'm challenging my limits! I love doing new things and having them work out!

Learning.

Today I've woken up with a new perspective. *Be different. Be you.* Well it's not a totally different perspective, but it's more defined now. It all started with an email..

WPPI started a Roadtrip & they were coming to DC and Jersey. Somehow I knew I just had to go. I asked a good friend of mine, Logan, to tag along. We decided DC was perfect so we confirmed our spots and paid our money, not quite sure of what to expect. See, I've been doing this for about 3 years now and I've gone online, talked to other professionals, joined forums and all kinds of things, but I've never put myself out there. I've never said, "Hey, I'm here, I'm real, It's my time." I'm SO thankful I went to DC yesterday. I learned so much about everything, and we met some really cool people! Jasmine Star was the last speaker of the day, we were tired and ready to get some grub, but we were ready to hear what she had to say. WOW. What an eye opener, she is very honesy, very open, and showed me that no matter what you have... where you are.. what you charge.. I can do this. I have to believe in Me. Everything she said is still floating around in my head, but I do specifically remember her saying: "If you don't believe in you, how will your clients believe in you?"

I believe. I know. I am ready to do what I need to do because that's what I want. So thank you to all of the people that have believed in me, when I didn't believe in myself because now I do. I know that I am a photographer, I am a professional, but most of all I am me. A human who will make more mistakes than most, A girl who loves and laughs, who cries and screams. I'm timid and scared of rejection, but I am going to make that valiant effort to put myself out on a limb, so that when I look back I can know that I am doing everything possible to make it in this business.

This is my rock. My best friend. And with out him I wouldn't have pushed myself as far as I am right now. I believe in love and I believe when you are happy you make everyone around you happy.